The Former San Fransisco Quarterback Demonstrates He is More than Just a Football Player and Professional Protester.
Colin Kaepernick, former quarterback for the San Fransisco 49ers, has announced his successful bid to sing the National Anthem for the 2020 SuperBowl. “I am just a humble man of many hidden talents that people seem to pay attention to for no apparent reason. Singing is one of those talents. I wanted to demonstrate my incredible vocal talents in a breakout way, and this opportunity came along.”
Some have criticised what seems to be a flip-flop in the social justice warrior’s convictions.
When pressed on a possible conflict between his new gig and his previous protests against the anthem, Kaepernick stated “There are many ways to protest, man. Sitting on my butt during the national anthem is one, but occupying the anthem can be equally effective.”
Kaepernick’s friends, however, are claiming that he had to change his methods of protests due to “medical complications in the knees and buttocks due to extended periods of use.” One anonymous source even claimed he would perform the anthem sitting down.
This reporter asked Mr. Kaepernick, “What do you want to say to those players who are still flying the standard you raised – still protesting the anthem? How should they take this?”
Mr. Kaepernick responded, “Listen, we can all go on protesting in our hearts, but all I have to say is, those m**^$%*&’s better d--n well stand up when I’m singing.”
The President remarked on Kaepernick’s statement that singing the anthem counts as protesting it “If he sings like he plays football, I would agree with him that that’s an effective protest.”
“Very Fake News.” – Trump, Donald J.