Buttgieg Owns Aliens

In recent discoveries, we have obtained alarming information regarding Pete Buttigieg; a Democrat candidate for President, and who is

publicly gay. We received a call from an anonymous person, claiming to have seen Buttigieg walk into his cellar at the back of his house, with odd blue and green flashes coming from said cellar. After checking for watchmen, the anonymous caller opened the cellar door and walked inside. Upon entering he claimed to have found a passageway into an enormous room, which he had claimed was “at least 500 feet in every direction.” The anonymous caller claimed that it was named Area 42 and to have seen tanks filled with green liquid and humanoid forms. Upon closer inspection he had seen large bulb-like heads and small ugly green bodies about 3 feet tall. ALIENS! That was when he had claimed to have heard a shout from behind him and had turned around to find an angry and violent looking Buttigieg, who was brandishing a heavy unknown possibly alien weapon and yelling “if you tell a soul about Area 42 I will find you and feed you to my outer space children, you Republican homophobe!” This is very alarming news to all informed enough to realize so, and after finishing this news article, you can count yourself one of the lucky few. What is he doing with the aliens? How did he obtain them? Were they perhaps attracted to his weirdness? Is he perhaps harnessing psychic energies to use on unwitting victims in the effort to make them gay? We do not fully know, and although he may not have seemed convincing to you, we at The Fat Potato believe him fully, due to the fact that he was both panting and panicky, and did not sound drunk in any way, also he said he supports Trump. Now that you are informed of Buttigieg’s suspicious behavior and terrifying cellar, you will think twice about tinfoil lined hats and about voting for a candidate that has butt in his name AND is publicly gay.